Sunday, May 28, 2006

In still weirder news

Some people actually believe global warming isn't real.
Strangely these people all have ties to oil production and refining. Weird huh?
Personally I think all those people that don't believe in climate change should be issued a very special ID badge.
Everyone else that actually gets it should get another special badge. All of us that work really hard to decrease emissions, volunteer , badger and cajole will get really cool things with our special badge. We would get discounts on smart cars, fridges and washers and dryers. Our taxes would be less. We would get better pay.
The idiots that think nothing is happening? Well there life doesn't change at all. They believe in the past so they should get to live there. I mean they wouldn't care anyway right? They won't be trying to change the world, they certainly won't be buying smart anything.
They may whine a bit about the tax thing but hey! We aren't raising their taxes..We are just keeping them the same. Nothing will change for the oil lover.
The world will just get better and better for the people that care about their environment.
Eventually the oil will run out or it will get so expensive even the oil lover won't be able to afford it and then, maybe, they will get with the program. But it wont really matter by then, they won't have any other choice.

Some times good people just have to drag the idiots along for the ride.

The good thing is most of these idiots are fat, old white men. They won't last much longer. I cannot tell you how much better off the world is going to be when this power generation folds it's tent.
The new generation is full of brilliant minds focused on their world, they will have solutions and more importantly they will be able to implement them when this generation of warmongering nutcases die.

That is the beauty of the earth and the world, change is constant and evolving.

I am at a loss to explain why illegal immigrants are moaning and bitching. You are illegal. You entered the country by lying. Thousands of very good people worked incredibly hard to come here the right way. You snuck in and made a mockery of their struggle. Piss off. Get out of my country. I don't care if you procreated fifty times and your wife is pregnant again. Why would you have ten children if you KNEW you were in the country illegally?
Your children are not citizens, they are illegal, just like you. Why would you cause your family so much harm? Did you lie and tell your wife and children it's okay? Why? Why would you do such a thing?
Canada has ridiculously loose refugee standards. You could tell them a police man looked at you crossly and you would get asylum. Why didn't you declare that at the border? You would have been give your very own social worker, welfare and a medical insurance card and even better they would have found you a place to live and a job.
You never had to be an illegal alien.
Now, you can't ask for refugee status you idiot because you have lived in Canada for ten years.
It is all so damn unnecessary.
My real bone is don't you dare bitch at me about your damn rights. You have no rights in my country. You are not a citizen, nor a refugee. You don't like it? Fuck off back home asshole.
It's the gall that gets me, the aggressive me, me, me...well there are citizens in this country that aren't getting the services they need, they come first.
If you want to be a citizen then follow the damn rules. The rules aren't even hard. Hell, we take anyone.
For those of you that think breaking the law, lying about who you are and sucking up services intended for citizens is a wonderful damn thing? Give up your piece of the pie to them.
Think about how much it costs in tax dollars to put two kids through public school. Let's say two grand a year for twelve years times two. So, forty eight thousand dollars. Add on the cost of labour and delivery for both these kids. Fifty two thousand dollars. Now, I have never met any family that has never needed to see a doctor...Let's add on about ten grand worth of medical services for the whole family for twelve years. How about roads,water, sewer, hospital,school maintenance? Illegal immigrants work under the table, usually for cash so they aren't paying any taxes but they sure are using the resources right?
So, how about all those people in favour of illegal immigration get a huge new tax bill. Yup, you pay for their needs okay?
I won't say boo if you want to pay their way but someone has to pay and I am sick to death of seeing my tax dollars getting ear marked for more and more "health care" but the services never ever getting better because the ER and the ICU are EATING all the funds.

Let's take one illegal immigrant. Let's say he works in construction. His boss knows he is illegal so he gives him some crappy training and an even crappier job. This job is still a "good job", it pays well.
This poor guy gets a load of cement dropped on him while he is working in a confined area.
It takes two fire trucks and an advanced life support team to get him out of this mess. He is in bad shape. He goes to the ER. He is not well enough to talk, he is intubated at the scene. He has no ID. He begins his trek through the medical world. He gets lab work, Xrays and a CT of his whole damn body. He has damaged his lungs, broke a bunch of bones and needs an ICU bed.
He has burned through about twenty five thousand health care dollars before he even reaches the ICU. One ICU bed costs fifteen hundred dollars a day. That is just the bed, the space that comes equipped with thousands of dollars or hightech monitoring. Then comes one on one nursing care, a respiratory therapist and an intensivist. Our guy also needs an orthopedic surgeon for a few thousand dollars of surgery to put his bones back where they belong.
A week later he has burned through a hundred thousand dollars worth of lab tests. Xrays, CT's surgery, nursing care, medical care, consults to all services and then finally a request for social work when they wife arrives with no insurance card and completely unable to speak a word of English. Social work realizes he is illegal. Also his employer has no workers comp insurance for him because he doesn't exist on his payroll. He is not entitled to any UI because he has never paid any. The family hasn't got a dime. So, emergency welfare kicks in. We scrounge up an emergency insurance card and we keep our fingers crossed that it wont get rejected by immigration. Ofcourse it does.
Family is broke, illegal, no way out. Can never pay the medical bills, hell can't pay the rent.
If we had any sense this would be the moment we went straight to the consulate of their country and shoved it into their lap.
I would wait till the guy was medically stable, gather up his family and put them all on a plane headed straight to where they came from. But not my country..oh no..We give them time, time to eat up more resources.

Why do these people have more rights than the average Canadian?
Some Canadians have waited years for a new hip or knee because we don't have enough orthopedic specialists and the ones we do have spend half their lives pinning trauma patients back together.
I think that the moment you need the resources of the country you have illegally entered your home country is obliged to pay the damn bill.
When I leave Canada my country says we will pay ANY medical bill you have and we will get you back to Canada the moment it is medically feasible. My country loves me, it's citizen, because I pay through the nose for it's love.
You can have that love too if you pay for it. Scamming your way here is wrong, it's criminal and no I don't have a moment of sympathy for you. You knew what you were doing and the thought that you brought your wife and had children that had to share this incredible risk is your problem. You should have thought things out before you decided to start a family in a country that wasn't yours.

Entry into Canada is not a difficult thing, you just need to apply and pay your fee and be patient. Thousands of people do it every damn year. They work incredibly hard, they suffer terrible setbacks but soldier on. They do it the right way. You don't have to be a professional to apply either, we have lists and lists and lists for anyone with a trade. All we ask is do it legally. You do it the right way and this country will care for you the best it knows how for the rest of your life.

Do it illegally and we wont be very happy with you at all. Whine and complain about how mean we are not to give you a warm hug for breaking our laws? Then we will happily put you and every one of your spawn on a plane headed back to the place you came from.
Enough already from the overly entitled criminal.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Gods Debris

Okay. I like Dilbert. I like Scott Adams but oh holy crap I didn't like this book.
See, I already read Dune and this "philosophy" is 50% Dune and 50% metaphysical crapola.
The book is free as a PDF download. It still cost too much.
It takes all the obvious omnipotence arguments and adds a slice of coin tossing as religion, YAwn.
I think all thinking people get the fact that an omnipotent God is bull. It is an unsupportable conundrum.
If you are omnipotent you would have no large feelings would you? They would have no purpose. You would never get all that happy, all that angry..I mean why? You have all the answers, you KNOW everything, you CONTROL everything. You wouldn't care more about people than you would a plant, hell it's all yours, you know their futures..Nothing is left to surprise you.
Even with all this "free will" what does that matter if you are omnipotent? You will still KNOW right? God knows what you are thinking right now, he is a little like the CIA, listening in to your phone calls. He knows you are thinking about looking for porn right now..hah gotcha!
So, Adam posits that Gods only interest is can I destroy myself? Like Dune, if you can see all multiple futures as quickly as people create them would life not become meaningless? Brutally depressing? So God blows himself up and now God is recreating himself..We are all little pieces of God dust.......and if we are nice people that don't buck "probability" we will live happily after, the end. Blech.
So, God is sort of dead, well whatever dead is for an omnipotent being........Wouldn't an omnipotent being know what death is? So why would he need the experience?
See this is how I prove that religion is bullshit.
There very well may be a God but that God has absolutely nothing to do with any known religion. Or with the babblings of some delusional old fart on a blog no one reads.

This stuff was interesting when I was sixteen and looking for the meaning of suffering. Once I grew up and realized there is no meaning to suffering, it's just suffering, life got a lot easier.
People always searching for an explanation, an excuse, aren't living. They are boring the ass off the rest of us at parties.

Leave the meaning of the universe alone. You'll get the answer soon enough.

saying I love you

I was reading Dooce and it got me thinking about how I raise my own daughter. She is almost grown up, ready to take on the world. She has been a remarkable teenager. She has only rarely given me a bad moment. I know she has done some things I really wish she hadn't. I know she has experimented here and there but she has always shown a remarkable for her age common sense.
She is very beautiful, we comment awe a little at how very pretty she is and then she will stun me with how smart she is. She is also a classic gifted underachiever.
I know she could be getting much better grades but she learned very early that she was more than smart enough to do almost nothing and pull off A's and B's. She has also realized that high school is a sham.
High school is just a holding pattern until you are old enough, mature enough to learn really cool things that will lead to a real job.She cannot wait to go to university.

My real concern is did I tell how much I loved her? Does she know she is smart and beautiful? Does she know it wouldn't matter if she wasn't? That I would still love her no matter what?
She seems full of self esteem and confidence, she has rarely had those days when teenage life was hellish, lonely and sad.
I don't want to be dorky mom....I am dorky enough already. She doesn't seem to mind calling me from wherever she is, she doesn't complain about being grilled about her plans and our never ending take it easy, be careful, go slow, watch yourself...... God, all that makes me irritated, she has way more patience.

I hope she does know but I think I better remind her....poor kid.

Oh dear lord, America got the Idol it deserves! Hee..The karaoke king...Look at Taylor the master mimic..he can the Doobie Brothers..All of them!, he can do Springsteen,Joe Cocker...hell who can't he mimic? oh right a real singer...

The House finale was cool. I didn't get the gag until the guys testicles blew up, then I knew something wasn't quite right. I really want to know who the shooter is and what his grievance was.
House is so capable of driving someone to violence I'm surprised it hadn't happened sooner.
I hope the new season cuts out the racist overtones from House.
I was fascinated at a recappers outrage at House causing a patient pain. In the ICU we call it noxious stimuli, in reality we cause extreme pain and hope for a response. Some neurosurgeons prefer a brisk,vicious nipple twist..I refuse to do that. It is inappropriate under every circumstance. We use nail beds, if you have ever hit yourself on the nail you know the pain. No response means you have suffered a significant brain injury. We do the test because it reveals a lot of valuable clinical information. It can reveal where your stroke occurred even when you are too comatose to respond. We can then direct treatment quickly.
Causing pain is what we do. Almost every intervention I perform causes some form of discomfort or pain. We try very hard to minimize and treat but it cannot be avoided. I sometimes wonder about the naivete of people watching medical dramas. They think nothing of biopsies and lumbar punctures but get incensed over a finger pull..........Weird how our brains catalogue good pain and bad pain. I think all pain sucks but pain is always meaningful data.
Anyway House was pretty good and I really hope a ketamine coma works. I have real issues with ketamine though.
Ketamine is still used as anesthesia for cats but we no longer use it as a general anesthetic for people. It caused violent, horrific nightmares , patients would wake screaming and crazed.
It also, for some, had long lasting effects with hallucinations, poor sleep and all around feeling just awful. Now we use ketamine as a short acting pain medication for dressing changes, skin debridement and the like. Drug addicts use it for the hallucinations.
I can't find much research about it resetting the pain center. The writing all seems a little vague and hazy. Well, writers can take poetic license, I just hope thousands of chronic pain patients aren't deluging their pain docs for ketamine comas. Most of us are pretty game for just about anything but I am going to skip this one.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Little things

I really enjoyed Sars essay this week. It made me laugh because it is something I have done myself for years. Especially when I am in a new city and feeling a little alone. I do always assume it's puke though..I just can't be that much an optimist.
Good news about Barbaro today, he is holding steady. I know all of us in the racing community really want a good outcome. We have worked so hard for advancements in equine orthopedics it will be a great thing if we can show that all the research was worth it.
I think it is a wonderful thing how so many people are expressing their concern for Barbaro. With the American history of destroying and murdering so many species it gives some hope that Americans may actually have some kind of conscience.
Read today that the Americans have almost succeeded at destroying all the coral off the coast of Florida..they just woke up the other day and went oh! I think it's all dead maybe we should care...
It is fascinating to me that most Americans think they are environmentalists just because they go on a hike or two. They are using up all the natural resources of the world at a terrifying rate, they are destroying ecosystems and shooting and killing bears, wolves and hell anything they can shoot at but they still insist the world should follow their example because they are doing everything right.
I think Americans embody everything that is a little terrifying about the world. They are generally quite nice in groups of one or two but when you get them all together they lose their minds. They are fanatical in their "we're number one" patriotic mindset and nothing anyone else says can change their minds. I have met some who seem to believe strongly in political equity, that the World Bank is destroying the economies of the third world and that the IMF is really an agent of great evil but the second you remind them that in reality the IMF is controlled by US conglomerates and that US foreign policy is actually the driving force of all that evil they begin chanting "we're number one" and they stop listening.
No one wants to think bad things about their own country but holy crap come can Americans just go so blindly through life?
Israel has suffered non stop terrorist attacks since they date of it's birth and America has tuttutted and held meetings and written reports. Almost every country in the world has suffered terrorist attacks and America has ignored their seriousness. America gets hit and all of a sudden it's important But once again America reacts by completely losing it's mind, wrapping itself in the flag screaming we're number one and promptly blowing up completely innocent people.
How blowing up terrified Iraqis hiding in their bathrooms can stop terrorists living in Afghanistan still puzzles me but what makes me even crazier is how America came to help us Canadians in Afghanistan by murdering helpless civilians laying in their beds in the middle of the night. Every time these idiot yahoos go out for a "little action" they kill the very people we are there to protect.
I honestly wish America would pull back, go home, close it's borders and roll into a fetal ball and stop bothering the rest of the planet.
At this point in history the very last thing we need are cowboys upsetting the balance of this world.
Go home America and please stay there, this is a time for quiet, intelligent people to talk..You know ..the grownups.
Please don't pout, it's not that we don't like you, we do, no, really..but you guys are really, really immature and we don't want to get blown up because you woke up feeling a little cranky.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Barbaro updated

Good news, he has survived his surgery. He recovered well from anaesthesia and is standing on all four legs . He broke his cannon bone, a sesamoid and a front pastern, if not for his jockey pulling him up so quickly he would have died on the racetrack.
The surgeon admitted he had never done this surgery before, not because of lack of experience but because almost always horses are euthanized. So, thank you to the wonderful owners of Barbaro who chose to spend his Kentucky Derby earnings saving his life.

I hope he will go on to have beautiful babies.

Little Britain marathon!
Almost as good as last year....almost.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

In other news BBC is still stealing content

This nut BBC or Billy Cook at GOD UNCENSORED continues to harass. He has followed me to other sites and is now harassing other people. I have once again reported him to Blogger but just a warning : if some really old guy wanders over to your blog and starts talking about how awful all women are, how he "lives off the grid" and is stocking up for "the big one" run don't walk away from this guy.
I have to say this man has absolutely ruined this environment for me. He turned hateful and ugly in a second and crazy even faster than that. I wish I had known that responding to a comment can ruin a good thing. I really wish this guy would get lost, mostly I wish he would stop stealing my content. A thief, a nut and a stalker..
C'mon Blogger do something.
To the idiot..stealing this post to comment on this post is still theft. You are a disgusting thief. Copy and paste that you criminal.


My heart hurts for this beautiful horse. All of us in racing live with this risk, the horses are our lives.
I wish for steady hands in the operating room. I wish for a steady and calm spirit within Barbaro when he wakens. I wish for a good recovery so he can go on and make babies and roll in the grass and sleep with the sun warming his back.
He could have been our Triple Crown we will never know..all we want now is for him to live. It's not that much to ask for after all he has given is it?

Friday, May 19, 2006


So there is this really weird guy that came to the blog awhile back. He seemed like a harmless old fart so I replied to a few of his comments. That was my mistake. I wandered over to his blog God Uncensored and realized wow, guy is a fruitcake so I tried to ignore him but he wouldn't stop with the comments. His comments started getting mean and personal and I told him to get lost.
No one needs some nut hanging around bitching about your television choices right?
Well..he wont go away..GO AWAY!
So I am do you get rid of some bitchy thousand year old friendless, familyless whiny lurker? I am being JUDGED by my gramma on the internet and it's freaking me out!
This guy Billy prides himself on the fact that he has run off his entire family, he hates women with a scary passion and I think he believes he is God...
I got really lucky with my nut didn't I?
Anyway I reported him to Blogger.
I also tightened up the comments thing which pissed me off...I never get any comments anyway so why should I now have to moderate them?

I also don't get why people think they can cut and paste your blog and then reproduce it on theirs..I am copyrighted..isn't that illegal?

Go away creepy Billy..I don't care what you think..Go hate someone else.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Okay I was unimpressed with the ref. I agree that he had no other choice but to give Lehman the red card though. He blew the whistle too early and had to live with that choice and Lehman blew it badly. But I think he should have allowed Barcelona the advantage on Lehmans penalty. The goal was good. It should have been a yellow card for Lehman and a goal for Barcelona.
That said Henri got savaged the whole game and the ref ignored it and that sucks.
It was as if the ref freaked out after giving Arsenal the goal advantage and turned on them. Arsenal got yellowed near to death and Barcelona stomped ankles all day with impunity.
I like my refs to be a little fair you know.
Barcelona was obviously the better team despite playing like zombies for the first half , they deserved the win when they took Arsenal apart in the last twenty minutes. Arsenal was just exhausted.
I didn't agree with Henri's petulant running to the sidelines to bitch every three seconds though.
Play dammit, stop the whining.
I guess this will be the last of Henri at Arsenal though, he is crazy competitive and I am sure he wants to be a part of a team that lifts cups before he gets too old. Can't say I blame him really, a footballers career is pretty short and you have to do what you need to when the time is right.

Thank you for not killing off Brass. I like him a lot. I felt bad for Ellie though. Everyone knowing your bad history, giving you the look all the time. She loves her dad, she may not want to most of the time but she loves him and she showed up. I am glad Grissom kept her out of her dads house though. It would be pretty damn sad if Brass came home to no TV and no furniture.
I actually liked the Sara/Grissom moment. There have been hints all along that they were together and it was a nice casual soap opera crap..just two people getting ready for bed and talking about death. It wouldn't have killed them to maybe add a kiss would it?
Six years and not even a kiss? Oh hell...... It was nice.
I was a little irritated with Warricks story..did he leave his wife? I am guessing he did what with the weird, inappropriate, one sided "hey! I have issues" conversation with that dead guys sister.
I didn't like the dueling corseted man story, it was really lame. I think the plot was a little story overloaded. I really couldn't focus because damn people Brass might die! and that guy killing himself because he was too much a coward to go to a damn doctor and get a quadruple bypass.
Having a positive family history doesn't mean you are doomed idiot, it means you see a doctor a lot and get your history fixed..jeezus David Lettermans father dropped dead at an early age so Dave was wildly proactive and got his history corrected so he could have a family and a happy life. Dead guy was a coward and a creep. Sorry to his fictional sister but come one..that is damn irritating.
I think they should have allowed for a little breathing room so we could feel more traumatized by Brass's dire situation and Grissoms choice. Damn Grissom is a bold bastard, he just said do it. I shudder to think about making that kind of choice for anyone. You are wrong and they die? Then you are an asshole .
I have been in family meetings about this same thing and honestly it is best to pick someone bold like Grissom to be your health care proxy..makes us feel better anyway.
I like deciders..well not the George "I am the decider" Bush kind but you get my point.
I like Brass alive and I like Sara and Grissom together..the SS GeekLove sails! Now the trick is to keep the boat private and behind the scenes..lets have a normal, adult, happy, committed relationship shown DISCRETELY. I would be fascinated to see THAT shown on network would be something shocking and new!

I gave up ER over and over and over again and the finale reaffirmed why. Let's shoot the place up and oh no pregnant woman is bleeding because she had the GALL to decline a marriage proposal...Shut up ER..If you let Jerry die I will never watch again.... well honestly? I hardly watch at all so kill away.

I have to say that ABC sucks..Thanks for moving Greys Anatomy up against CSI!..Sorry I won't be able to watch anymore assholes.

World Cup is coming soon!

I have started a new intensive course of antibiotics and I can happily report I am starting to feel a little better! Yeah! It's about damn time.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Oh dear

Greys Anatomy
Oh hell where to start?
I knew that Denny would die..Subconsciously I knew but to kill him off after he survives a heart transplant..a stolen heart no less and after asking Izzie to marry him and she accepts? That is harsh cold shit there. I like being manipulated by my dramas and all but ouch.
I knew McDreamy could never stay away from Meredith, he loves her and her loss was too much. He wanted to be a good man, a man that doesn't walk away or give up but what he did was so unforgivable.
The only answer to this is divorce and I love Addison..I don't want her to go away..But the show cannot survive if Grey is sleeping with Derek and Derek is pretending to be a good husband...I cannot believe Grey would re-enact her own mothers life.
Derek is a bastard and Meredith..leaving McVet there like a fool..ahhhh
I wanted to kill Christina until the end..I am glad she realized that Burke is her McDreamy surgeon or fisherman.

Poor crazy Izzie..I would have had her arrested for what she did. That is the reason we don't get involved with patients, we make selfish, disastrous decisions. I still felt so sorry for her loss. I hate that the writers thought she needed to be so thoroughly destroyed.
I did love how "the family" came together, even Alex and his football team analogies.

All in all a sad,awful episode..too much all at once. I like finales but the throwing everything at everyone just gets exhausting and irritating.
Damn..I can't believe how far McDreamy has fallen..what does Meredith see in him now?
That said I don't like McVet at all...I know I should but I don't. Being a good guy never pays.

Maybe everything will work out in the end..Meredith and McDreamy with a new Dog, Burke and Christina..Burke all getting better every day..George needs to dump frumpy McCrazy though..girl is way too needy and scary eyed.
Poor Izzie..I have no idea how she can come back..special dispensation for being crazy maybe?
Alex needs a nice Catholic girlfriend to knock up next year..

I am a romantic at heart..maybe Addison could try McVet out?

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Anderson Cooper, he of the hot or cool blue eyes and the strangely attractive white hair..
So I read your "memoir" excerpt in Vanity Fair and I was sympathetic, a little bit. What stood out for me is damn, you are one repressed man. I guess some cracks are going to happen when you stuff one too many tragedies down. To get us all up to speed..Andersen's mom is Gloria Vanderbilt of "Little Gloria" fame. She was the rich little girl torn from the warm and loving arms of her really cool nanny. Gloria's mom was a party girl that may have forgotten she had a kid if it weren't for the money said kid had. Anderson's dad was a poor son of a failed farmer, a failed actor and semi successful screen writer. Gloria and Wyatt married and had two kids. Wyatt died when the kids were young and both kids never recovered. The eldest grew up, freaked out and jumped from his mothers balcony 14 stories to his death.
Anderson is the sole survivor . Reading his memories you realize he doesn't have many, or maybe he does but he sure as hell isn't sharing. He isn't sharing anything. He writes just as he speaks, facts, facts and then an exclamatory oh that is terrible. He never says why he feels it's all terrible, he slides into generics, the journalism of terrible. He does throw out little tidbits..the place his father worked..a grocery store. He doesn't talk about being the son of a guy who works in a store, or of being the son of a woman who signed her name to a line of jeans. He never talks about his own feelings really. It's as if he is commenting on the feelings of the personality Anderson Cooper..a guy he doesn't even know.
I finished the piece knowing absolutely nothing about Anderson Cooper. Maybe that was his design but then why bother writing a memoir? I still can't decide if the guy is gay or not. He is so closed off, so tight with control I don't expect he could really have a relationship with anyone, male or female. Maybe he is this really cool, open guy with his friends but you would never know it by reading his view of his own life .
It was Anderson Cooper reporting on...the life and times of Anderson Cooper...really weird.

I just finished Haunted by Chuck Palahiniuk. I like scary stories. This wasn't scary. This wasn't intense. This was gross. I was disappointed. Haunted is the story thirteen year old boys tell each other in the tree house during sleepovers. Thirteen year old boys tell the stories a lot better. They, at least have the innocence to express unabashed horror and disgust..grown ups don't get to tell fart stories and be all my friend? he heard about this kid? who got his butt stuck in the pool thing and it sucked out his guts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every gross out story was too damn easy. It was a story we have all heard over ad over.
The whole book was masturbation. Chuck whacking off to something he remembered as a kid or read on the internet. I think Chuck needs to take a break.
I get the joke, I paid real money,the hard work kind to read a book I thought would be good and all the while you were laughing your ass off that anyone would pay money to let you whack off ..fuck you too Chuck..the joke ain't funny and you are an asshole and huge disappointment.

On to the next book..Fifth Business by Robertson Davies. This book is the second most annoying piece of dreck I have read in years. The winner was ofcourse Emma. Fifth Business is words, words, words. Blah, Blah, Blah..what? move the story along? hell no! blah blah blah. It is excruciating. Not as bad as Emma because there is nothing as bad as Emma. This makes me crazy. This is required reading for grade 12 english, I read it too so I can help my kid get through this awfulness. I am lost with this. It has no value as a story. I can reduce this crap to: asshole kid hit retarded woman in head with a snowball and other kid felt bad/guilty and then they all grew up and asshole stayed an asshole except now he is a really rich asshole and other kid still felt bad and kinda guilty but not so guilty that he minded getting paid hush money from asshole and retarded woman's kid ran away and joined the fucking circus , became a magician and killed asshole for hitting his mom in the head with a snowball. Karma's a bitch and we all die..who cares? This is literature? This shitty , unsatisfying little tale of revenge is so damned important you need it to graduate from highschool?
There are a million better books, hell Haunted is a better book.
No wonder my kid loves math.

In grade 12 I read Wuthering Heights. Now that is a revenge tale, a bitter, mean little story that should scare the crap out of anyone. I hated Cathy and Heathcliff and hell, everyone in that book but it was a good clean hate. The author worked damn hard to show you everything. She didn't tack a moral on..the whole damn thing was the moral. It was unrepentant, unvarnished and it let you sit in judgment and made you feel good about it. It was fucking scary for all the right reasons and it wasn't a cheap scare. The lessons you learn from Wuthering Heights are lessons every woman should learn early. If you had a good teacher you knew from the start this was the dark, black heart of every Harlequin Romance ever written.

It was a great book..Fifth Business is crap.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Grand Rounds is up

For those of you that love a good round Aetiology has done a really nice job. A good mix of research and ethics and problem solving.
I have been spending some time at Tales from the Womb. I started in OB and loved it. I loved labouring moms and all the great education opportunities but I don't miss the liability. I never really thought about the being sued part when the baby was being born but I sure as hell did when the baby was floppy after.
I was handed a blue baby once and it was a surreal thing. I was suctioning and patting, pat pat pat....and feeling that heart beat and feeling like screaming at the baby to turn pink already oh god..and the baby did and everyone in the room let out a breath because all of us knew it wasn't happening fast enough.
It seemed like a million years had passed but it was no more than a moment ..the timer went off for the one minute apgar and I could happily record an acceptable score of breathing, somewhat toned PINK baby.
It was my first and last floppy baby.
I couldn't do it. Despite having a doctor shake my hand and say well done I couldn't shake the almost tragedy of it.
What if I couldn't make the baby pink? A baby can't go without oxygen long without showing catastrophic problems was not for me.
I loved it when it was happy hugs and good outcomes but I wanted no part of dying or damaged babies.
I guess that is why NiCu RNs are so cool to me. They care for tiny critical babies..holy crap that must be agonizing all the time.
When my patients go I can say with honesty they lived a long time, hell some of my patients are their eighties elderly. They had their time. But newborns?
So, my respect and awe to all those that stay and care for moms and babies and take the wonderful with the tragic.
Happy Nurses week all. I got a pen. a cheap one. Wow, thanks ONA! For sixty bucks a month I get a cheap ass magazine and a yearly planner with cheap ass pen. From my employer? I have no idea..I can't go to work while running a near continuous fever. I miss work when I am feeling well, too bad that's about two hours a day..oh well it's the thought right?

Monday, May 08, 2006

On being a football widow

No, not that football..The real football ..the football the rest of the known world alright?.
Gah..I hate calling it soccer.
So after ranting about my feminist views and my favorite television shows I have to talk about footie.
It all started in 2004. The EUFA cup. We started watching out of boredom. It had been years since I watched. I quit after the troubles. I was so sad and so disgusted I just couldn't find any joy after so many had died.
EUFA was something different. It was a mini world cup and it was fun. We watched Rooney in his England debut and it was thrilling. He was fearless, aggressive and crazy explosive and he looked like he was loving every second. I loved watching Portugal, brilliant in the spotlight. The new stadiums were beautiful, one cut into a rock face. We rooted for England and then when Rooney was lost and so was England we rooted for Greece and Portugal. It was all fun again.
So, we started watching footie again, studiously avoiding all things Liverpool.
First it was Everton and then when Rooney came to Manchester we switched .
Soon I gave up favorite teams and moved to favorite players. Rooney for his mad,crazy bursts, Henri with his delicacy, his ballet. I loved Alan Shearer and Michael Owen, scoring goals and grinning like madmen. There are so many that I like to see but honestly it is Ronaldinho who I love. He is the most joyful of all football players. Every moment of the game for him is music, an orchestra to play with.
I love football again . I knew that when I cried with Wayne when he went down and the truth was in his face. The World Cup slipping away just like EUFA. I hope he gets better but I don't want him to do anything silly....he makes me nervous.

Barbaro ran an incredible race. I love the Derby. I have been a few times and enjoyed every moment. I love Kentucky. I think of all the years of horse racing we have put in knowing we will never have a Derby horse but still loving every damn win, even those $2,500 claimers. A win is a win..

I had a bunch of blood tests today, my fever continues and still I feel exhausted. I have eliminated everything I wait and see what the tests will show. Having a fever of unknown origin isn't a good thing to have..too many times it turns out to be a malignancy some where. Now that everyone in my family has been diagnosed with some form of cancer I guess it might be my turn in the barrel. Luckily everyone has recovered well . I hate borrowing trouble, I hate even letting this creep into my head..
Back to Grissom and Sara and why TV romances never work out.........
add your reasons..It'll be fun! Oh come on I know you are watching something..Even if it's Meerkat you think the Whiskers Gang will be triumphant or do you think there is something really, really weird about watching Meerkats for years and years?
Meerkats are better than Survivor contestants I bet. (I can't be sure since I gave up Survivor when I noticed I couldn't stop scratching every time Jeff came on the screen)

Sunday, May 07, 2006


Okay I have fallen out of like with the men of Greys anatomy. Holy shit I don't like them.
I have been married for a very long time and yet I can still remember what a new relationship feels like and Burke shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.
If your girlfriend or wife has had two orgasms you need to finish already. Sex is not a marathon and every woman alive will tell you there is nothing more boring or annoying than the guy who wont come. It becomes monotonous and ridiculous and I heartily recommend going to sleep while Superman plugs on alone.
Sulking at the dinner table with a book is an asshole move and this relationship needs to be over, soon. Christina is a cool,strong woman and Burke is trying to mold her into "the little lady'.

I have no words for what McDreamy pulled. He was ugly and belligerent. It was bad enough that he used his wife as a substitute sex toy but attacking and blaming Meredith for the choice he made is gross.
He chose Addison, Grey begged him to choose her and he didn't and he has no right to any relationship.
He is disgusting. He offered friendship and then when she moved on from worshiping at his feet he ripped it away like a child.

Both these men demonstrated they have the maturity of fourteen year old boys and I fervently hope that even Addison soon gets the memo that her husband is a prick.
George..Oh George,,she is your girlfriend. I don't care if you have to lie your ass off, you defend your girlfriend to all that threaten. I give George a small pass because he is really new to this relationship thing, hopefully he gets his shit together quickly.

The only man that demonstrated love was the man who ended up with no love in the end.
I have seen this and it's not that romantically sad. It's awful and a newborn doesn't make it any easier. It usually makes it worse.

On the whole I liked how the women handled these assholes but holy crap they better try to fix these glaring personality faults soon. It's impossible to watch a show if all you are hoping for is the untimely death of a few of these characters.

Now, about CSI. Okay, so we all have noticed that the Sara/Grissom thing is ratcheting up again. I get that Grissom is Sara's one true love and Sara is Grissoms but the problem is reality.
Grissom is a department head. Sara is an employee that is supervised by Grissom. It would be dating your boss.
Dating your boss is not a good thing to do.
First we have the legalities..Does your employer allow this relationship? If yes, do you have to sign a few legal documents that explicitly forbid you to sue the employer and the boss if this romance goes to hell and you get moved to a shift you hate?
So, now you have signed away all your rights if the romance goes to hell. Side note: did your boss have to sign those forms?
Second issue: there is no way in hell the employer will allow your boss to complete your evaluations. What's he going to say? Great in bed, makes a mean cup of coffee and is punctual and always willing to take on difficult assignments?
So, now you have to accept someone else doing your evaluation. It will be Catherine. Catherine doesn't like you much and really likes you a lot less now that you are dating her best friend.
Ecklie could do it but that would be worse.
Does Grissom experience any change in his status? Why no, no he doesn't. Worse he can do nothing to save you if you do something stupid.

So, the only person that will lose in this "romance" is Sara. She would be insane to do it.
Therefore expect her and Grissom to get together in the finale.
I like them together, she has enough of a mischievous side to keep me amused with the relationship. The problem is wouldn't it just become too weird and awkward?
Maybe if it was a secret only known to a few?

I don't know, it just feels unworkable..........
But the writers are talking about getting Warrick a TV divorce and putting him with Catherine..That brings up all the same issues really.
I hate the Catherine/Warrick idea, she would eat him alive and I like Warrick.
I guess my issue is avoiding the soap opera elements..I hate CSI Miami and NY...Too much touchy feely crap. But I want some acknowledgment of the relationships on CSI. The Grissom/Sara thing needs to be fulfilled because it's clearly,weirdly a correct relationship. It makes sense in a weird fulfilling way, it's the same with Catherine/Warrick..We have known about it for so long it has become subplot. It guides how they interact with each other and you just can't drag that shit out for too long or it just becomes irritating.

I guess it's the cake and eat it syndrome. I want to see these relationships work with some mighty struggles I hope. Still, I want to see that you can have some happiness despite working at the worlds most depressing job.
I want to see these characters on a different level, not just murder of the week all the time, little glimpses into their personal shit...trying to create a personal and working relationship..bouncing into the real boundaries of that...that could be interesting..
It would take some really great writers though to keep it away from soapy mush.

Maybe I just want to see Grissom kiss Sara , tell her he loves her and they walk hand in hand into the dark.

Friday, May 05, 2006

slasher films

I used to love slasher films. At first I loved the being terrified part. Anyone who is old enough to remember Karen Black being chased around her house by a tiny African kewpie doll with monstrous teeth and a tiny spear can get the holy shit that's scary thing. The it devolved into teenagers having sex is evil so they all must die thing. That was pretty scary too but more gory really. The focus became how can these evil sex crazed teenagers die ? How about scissors and axes? Then came Freddy.
I saw Nightmare On Elm Street and honestly I went right off scary movies. That movie was too scary. Everyone has had a funky, scary nightmare that stayed with them for days. The idea that you could die during that nightmare was too close to the reality of your feelings.
That movie has stayed with me. I never watched the sequels. It was unnecessary. I got the idea the first time and was sufficiently terrified, for a lifetime.

Tonight I broke my rule about slashers and scary movies. I watched House of Wax and I am a better human being for it. I did cheer out loud when Paris got the spear in the head. It was unavoidable, almost a reflexive response. The acting was terrible, the girls weren't all that pretty and the bad guys weren't remotely scary. But the idea of a remote abandoned little hamlet of wax people? That was great. The special effects were pretty cool. Seeing a melting house of wax and good guys and bad guys slipping and sinking was great.
I also enjoyed yelling at the TV. I talk to the people on my TV a lot. Mostly it's Wolf and Lou and foul language and name calling but with this movie I just yelled directions and turn left you fool and holy shit start running already and duck! It was fun. I felt powerful, like I had real answers to a life threatening problem..and no one listened to damn word as usual.

An update on Darfur..a tentative bullshit peace plan that doesn't involve the janjaweed at all.
Wikipedia can give you a good introduction to the history of the janjaweed and their beginnings in Chad and Libya. The Sudanese government is helpless to control them and the fact that Sudan signed a peace deal means nothing. I believe the so called rebel groups should hold on until Musa Hilal the suspected leader of the janjaweed is brought to the table. Hopefully they will lope off Musas' head and that should make a decent start to peace.
I believe that the only solution is a little reverse ethnic cleansing here. There is no place in the world for the janjaweed, they are evil and must be exterminated like vermin. Once they are gone a real effort can begin to try and fix the broken borders, the hard feelings, the economic mess..people can go home again and rebuild.
There can be no peace until the janjaweed are gone. Meaning all dead, every last one of you raping, murdering bastards. You can count yourself lucky if your children survive you but I shudder to think what a janjaweed would spawn. Evil begets evil one should think, let's all hope I am wrong and we wont repeat this horror fifteen years from now when their spawn is old enough to rape and hold a gun.
Maybe we will get lucky and a stable, responsible government will be in Chad and the Sudan, smart and aware enough to thwart any attempts to overthrow their work.

Maybe I will win the lotto too. I'm not holding my breath.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Oh Canada

You are so full of shit.
You are going to wait and see what happens with the peace talks? The Sudanese assholes walked out of the peace talks..There are no peace talks. We have been asked for 1500 soldiers to support the UN rapid reaction force and we cry we are over extended.
We can leave Afghanistan for a moment and maybe let the Afghans run their own damn country for a couple of weeks okay?
Genocide trumps looking for Osama right now. The world is on fire and we have to respond accordingly.
Where the hell is the rest of the world? Where are the Muslims that sit around and bitch and moan that their religion is all about peace and love and support? How about behaving like good Muslims and helping your brothers and sisters in need?
Oh..Are you too damn busy spending your money Kuwait? Saudi? UAE?, South America? Europe?
What are you doing right now Russia? China and Japan and India sit on their asses and do nothing, waiting for someone else to do the work.
The Middle East, that giant ball of bullshit sits around and whines that no one loves them while they sit back and eat grapes and spend a couple million on a new thoroughbred race horse while their Muslim relatives are gang raped..Their excuse? Oh those Muslims are black...They aren't Arab so we don't give a shit if they die a horrible death..It says right here in the Koran that we aren't required to give a shit if women are gang raped. Don't you love a personal bible that says it's just fine to buy big cars,gold jewelry and dope when a whole country is being murdered?

Every person who calls themselves a Muslim and tolerates what is going on in the Sudan should burn in hell. Every fat, rich, oil fattened Sheik should be over run.

This is a world problem caused by religion.
Religion that always destroys everything it touches. There is no religion in the world that hasn't caused horrible suffering , murder, starvation and genocide.
Religion is at the core of every murderous heart. Religion sucks clarity, logic, compassion from every brain.
Religion equals HATE.
Name me one damn religion that hasn't murdered it's own people in it's name.
Even Buddhist monks murdered.

The people of Darfur are being murdered because they had the audacity to be Muslim and not Arab, they had the audacity to try to fight back when they were being marginalized and made into slaves.
They are being murdered because they chose the religion of a bunch of crazed maniacs that believe killing and rape is a good and wonderful thing.
Don't feed me any bullshit about Islam being a religion of peace..wherever Islam exists? Hate lives.
Wherever Christianity lives? Hate lives

Do you see that religion has made us other to each other?
We are all human fucking beings...
I cannot tell you how much I hate organized religion and what it has done to this world.
Every time you go to church ask yourself..How many people were murdered in the name of my religion?. Ask yourself how many people are starving in the name of that religion?.
Do you want to be a part of that history?
By the very act of stepping into that church you are announcing to yourself and the world that you are in full agreement with the practices of that church, that religion.....That should make you want to throw up.

Stop thinking with your own ridiculous God and start thinking with your heart. Remember when the towers fell and the world cried? A few thousand dead and all of us cried, felt devastated and sickened.
Where the hell has that horror gone?Or is the horror only for us?
Is our outrage limited only to North Americans?

It's time to reach in and pull out our outrage, our's time to start acting.
Call your member of Parliament and demand that this government intervene.
We don't need to wait for the UN, hell they'll all be dead by the time the UN invokes the proper articles.
What kind of bizarro world is it when the UN has to get a consensus to send in troops to save people from being murdered?
Why isn't the world screamimg?

Oh's too busy hunting for illegal aliens. Leave them alone okay? Until the day comes that you can tell me you picked thirty quarts of strawberries in a morning shut up. I couldn't do it and wouldn't because the pay is shit. I like strawberries and the only way I am going to get to eat them is if illegal immigrants pick the damn things.

No one cares

No one cares

I hope your God makes you feel better when three million are dead and you did nothing.

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