Thursday, May 25, 2006

saying I love you

I was reading Dooce and it got me thinking about how I raise my own daughter. She is almost grown up, ready to take on the world. She has been a remarkable teenager. She has only rarely given me a bad moment. I know she has done some things I really wish she hadn't. I know she has experimented here and there but she has always shown a remarkable for her age common sense.
She is very beautiful, we comment awe a little at how very pretty she is and then she will stun me with how smart she is. She is also a classic gifted underachiever.
I know she could be getting much better grades but she learned very early that she was more than smart enough to do almost nothing and pull off A's and B's. She has also realized that high school is a sham.
High school is just a holding pattern until you are old enough, mature enough to learn really cool things that will lead to a real job.She cannot wait to go to university.

My real concern is did I tell how much I loved her? Does she know she is smart and beautiful? Does she know it wouldn't matter if she wasn't? That I would still love her no matter what?
She seems full of self esteem and confidence, she has rarely had those days when teenage life was hellish, lonely and sad.
I don't want to be dorky mom....I am dorky enough already. She doesn't seem to mind calling me from wherever she is, she doesn't complain about being grilled about her plans and our never ending take it easy, be careful, go slow, watch yourself...... God, all that makes me irritated, she has way more patience.

I hope she does know but I think I better remind her....poor kid.

Oh dear lord, America got the Idol it deserves! Hee..The karaoke king...Look at Taylor the master mimic..he can the Doobie Brothers..All of them!, he can do Springsteen,Joe Cocker...hell who can't he mimic? oh right a real singer...

The House finale was cool. I didn't get the gag until the guys testicles blew up, then I knew something wasn't quite right. I really want to know who the shooter is and what his grievance was.
House is so capable of driving someone to violence I'm surprised it hadn't happened sooner.
I hope the new season cuts out the racist overtones from House.
I was fascinated at a recappers outrage at House causing a patient pain. In the ICU we call it noxious stimuli, in reality we cause extreme pain and hope for a response. Some neurosurgeons prefer a brisk,vicious nipple twist..I refuse to do that. It is inappropriate under every circumstance. We use nail beds, if you have ever hit yourself on the nail you know the pain. No response means you have suffered a significant brain injury. We do the test because it reveals a lot of valuable clinical information. It can reveal where your stroke occurred even when you are too comatose to respond. We can then direct treatment quickly.
Causing pain is what we do. Almost every intervention I perform causes some form of discomfort or pain. We try very hard to minimize and treat but it cannot be avoided. I sometimes wonder about the naivete of people watching medical dramas. They think nothing of biopsies and lumbar punctures but get incensed over a finger pull..........Weird how our brains catalogue good pain and bad pain. I think all pain sucks but pain is always meaningful data.
Anyway House was pretty good and I really hope a ketamine coma works. I have real issues with ketamine though.
Ketamine is still used as anesthesia for cats but we no longer use it as a general anesthetic for people. It caused violent, horrific nightmares , patients would wake screaming and crazed.
It also, for some, had long lasting effects with hallucinations, poor sleep and all around feeling just awful. Now we use ketamine as a short acting pain medication for dressing changes, skin debridement and the like. Drug addicts use it for the hallucinations.
I can't find much research about it resetting the pain center. The writing all seems a little vague and hazy. Well, writers can take poetic license, I just hope thousands of chronic pain patients aren't deluging their pain docs for ketamine comas. Most of us are pretty game for just about anything but I am going to skip this one.


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