adventures in disaster

Grand Rounds is up

For those of you that love a good round Aetiology has done a really nice job. A good mix of research and ethics and problem solving.
I have been spending some time at Tales from the Womb. I started in OB and loved it. I loved labouring moms and all the great education opportunities but I don't miss the liability. I never really thought about the being sued part when the baby was being born but I sure as hell did when the baby was floppy after.
I was handed a blue baby once and it was a surreal thing. I was suctioning and patting, pat pat pat....and feeling that heart beat and feeling like screaming at the baby to turn pink already oh god..and the baby did and everyone in the room let out a breath because all of us knew it wasn't happening fast enough.
It seemed like a million years had passed but it was no more than a moment ..the timer went off for the one minute apgar and I could happily record an acceptable score of breathing, somewhat toned PINK baby.
It was my first and last floppy baby.
I couldn't do it. Despite having a doctor shake my hand and say well done I couldn't shake the almost tragedy of it.
What if I couldn't make the baby pink? A baby can't go without oxygen long without showing catastrophic problems later...it was not for me.
I loved it when it was happy hugs and good outcomes but I wanted no part of dying or damaged babies.
I guess that is why NiCu RNs are so cool to me. They care for tiny critical babies..holy crap that must be so..so agonizing all the time.
When my patients go I can say with honesty they lived a long time, hell some of my patients are elderly..in their eighties elderly. They had their time. But newborns?
So, my respect and awe to all those that stay and care for moms and babies and take the wonderful with the tragic.
Happy Nurses week all. I got a pen. a cheap one. Wow, thanks ONA! For sixty bucks a month I get a cheap ass magazine and a yearly planner with cheap ass pen. From my employer? I have no idea..I can't go to work while running a near continuous fever. I miss work when I am feeling well, too bad that's about two hours a day..oh well it's the thought right?

posted by adventures in disaster @ 11:49 PM