Thursday, April 27, 2006

Honoring the blog title

Oh hell.
I bank at a credit union. Ofcourse I am an idiot but it's a work related thing, meaning I had no other choice if I wanted to get paid.
My credit union cancels debit cards without notifying anyone and then lies their ass off that they actually did notify people. So a few thousand employees incandescent with rage line up in front of the credit union to get new cards.
The credit union doesn't mention to anyone that they have placed a limit on all the cards. The limit? 250 dollars a day. Yup, that's right.
I didn't notice until I had to withdraw the money for my new car. Ofcourse the credit union is closed and the web site doesn't work.
My new car that I can't get until I come up with the cash downpayment because no one with half a brain will accept a cheque is being held up because my credit union is staffed by paranoid nutters that believe people never need their money.
Then the bank lady calls and the deal we had last week now comes with all kinds of weird conditions that make my head hurt.
This is my life.
I can never just do something. Drama must always accompany every transaction.

On the topic of my health? It appears my immune system is on vacation. Worse, I have no excuse for my immune systems vacation. I have no life threatening viruses that would decimate it. I have consistently tested negative for the big ones for years. I am still negative.
I am very happy to know I don't have HIV or hepatitis but I am scared that something insidious is working here.
I cannot throw off this fever. I feel that my innards and brain are being gently cooked, simmered over time.
I have been radiated and blood has been drawn..I have taken my drugs ..
I feel feverish and glassy. I am unable to sleep because lying down causes such a violent shortness of breath I feel as if I am drowning.
My doctor just grunts now. My boss seems bored and disinterested. I get that but still after this many years you would think her ears would perk up when one of her employees has been away for two weeks. I imagine she is terribly busy and the loss of one person is hardly a big deal.
I guess I am feeling a bit sorry for myself........
I just want to feel well. I just want to buy my car without anymore hassle.
I just want the world to stop fucking with me for a little while so I can catch my breath and get us all back on an even footing.
Think some happy thoughts for me if you can spare them.

I really hope everyone watched Oprah today. I hope the name Darfur is etched into everyones mind. Go to and see what you can do. I have looked everywhere but I cannot find anything about Toronto. I would happily lay down on the cold concrete for a night if it woke people up to the genocide of Darfur.
I think GENOCIDE deserves all caps...yes, I am yelling.
Here,I sit, bitching and moaning about my dumb bank, my car and my health and a woman in a Chad refugee camp was just gang raped on her way to get wood.
It makes my worries small. I have a doctor, I have medicine,I have access to some of the best hospitals in the world.....they have nothing.

I have my small worries and some days they scare and overwhelm me. Other days I remember I am the luckiest woman in the world.


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