Thursday, April 13, 2006

Oh woe is me

The continuing saga of buying a damn Ford truck.
My husband now to be renamed crazed impulse shopper guy or husband drags me out at the literal crack of dawn.His mad reasoning is we have to drop the cat off to get spayed early anyway so why should we make a second trip out at a reasonable hour.
We go straight to a Ford Dealership because I made the mistake of calling about a truck a week earlier and now the salesguy calls every day and my husband hysterically believes this means the salesman wants to help us.
My husband makes one trip around the lot and promptly falls madly in love with the Ford truck he must have. He sends me in to make the deal because even he knows he would give them anything they want.
I talk them down a thousand and a little more on our trade in. It all seems wonderfully easy. Way too easy. First sign of trouble..the salesman can't read or write. I'm not kidding. he couldn't spell science nor health, he made me read him the questions on the application and then I spelled out the answers for him. It took about a half hour, it was a one page form that should have taken five minutes at most.
There was some awkward grinning all along, some high fives when it was done and then he disappeared into the "business" office.
He disappeared for an hour. I was quickly falling out of love with the truck and the process but my husband who is well known for his terrible and sometimes terrifying lack of patience can't stop grinning madly as if he just hit the lotto.
Finally I get up and speak to the receptionist . I tell her the salesman has five minutes to get out here and explain what the hell is taking so long or we are leaving.
Ten seconds later here he is!. They can't get the computer to work.".heh heh it's a new program, we haven't had much practice..won't be a minute okay? Another twenty minutes and another quick update "seems to be working..we think..won't be another minute!" Forty minutes later.."come on in, we are waiting for you!"
I sarcastically said "well I've been sitting right here without a coffee, a paper, or a newspaper for almost two damn hours" They both grinned that nervous I am so full of bullshit grin all really bad sales guys get. I got that creepy you have been getting screwed behind a closed door get the hell out of here feeling. It was quickly confirmed when our new best friend Barry hands us the bill of sale and begins speaking faster than the speed of sound. The first thing I noticed was the sale price was not the sales price I agreed to.
I told him to stop and pointed it out and the dance? she had begun. Barry tapdanced as poorly as I have ever seen a car salesman dance, he was either new or severely under the weather.
I said we were leaving and to say good-bye to our salesman for us.
We didn't know it but our salesguy? Right outside the door..he was Mr Apology, it was all his fault, he hadn't made the deal official with his boss.
The next quick step" let me take the deal to my boss and get it okayed.. I said nope, we are leaving. I tried valiantly to make a run for it but once again that impulse buy guy stood there transfixed by the sight of the shiny truck. He gave them enough time to urge us back into the business office. Ofcourse the deal was just fine the boss said as he galloped in, they obviously have a holy crap we are losing the sale panic button under the desk. I had my suspicions this wasn't the boss but at this point I knew all was lost. That guy I married wanted that truck, no other truck would ever make him all warm and squishy inside.
The deal was made.
Now I have financed automobiles before and I know exactly what the bank wants and I had it all with me. I gave it to business guy, the man that talks to the bank and makes all the deals..all of them..every last deal must go through him. He told me they didn't need all my silly look at the little woman all overreacting like she knows something about buying a truck..awww she's so damn cute.
I gritted my teeth. I knew the bank would need this stuff.
We went home with our happy business/salesman chirping he would call us in the morning to tell us when we could pick up the truck.
Well you can guess what happened. No phone call all morning. I finally called him..
Here is the unabridged story of why I don't have my truck, as told by a guy who speaks very loudly, very angrily and really, really fast.
"I sent your paperwork by computer because we do everything by computer because it's the twenty first century you know and that is how everything is done and the guy, he works at home because no one needs to work in an office anymore because everything can be done by computer and I emailed him and I got an email back that he was going to call me and when he called me I was at lunch so my voice mail told him that so I called him back when I got his voice mail but I just got his voice mail so I emailed him and you know it's not just you I have had a really busy morning and I have three people just like you waiting to hear back from this guy so I can put all of you in new vehicles because I know how desperate eveyone wants to be in a new vehicle and you are just going to have bear with me because there is nothing I can do the bank is holding us all hostage."

I said yeah, whatever how much longer?
His reply, angry, damn angry "look I have told you everything I can tell you and you are just going to have to wait just like everyone else is going to have to wait."
I said " I don't have to wait, cancel the deal and fuckoff"
silence, crickets chirping...I can hear the guy breathing and the deluge of I am doing everything I can begins.
My response is great, do it faster and call me by four and I hang up. Hilariously I now get calls from everyone at the dealership..why do you only get any positive attention when you tell them to piss off?
Four o'clock and the call that is still making me foam at the mouth or laugh my ass off, depending on the expression on my lovestruck husbands face....
"Hi! ummm it's Barry? from Ford? and ummm those papers you brought in for the bank? The bank needs them?
"Come and get them Barry, we'll be here all day tomorrow."
"Okay!. umm sorry? Bye!.

It's a holiday weekend, we wont get the truck till Tuesday. I hope my husband can maintain his love till then.

I hate car dealerships and no Barry we don't want rust protection, it's a new truck Barry it has rust protection, no Barry we don't needed an extended warranty , it's a new truck Barry, it has an extended warranty..Gawd Barry..Shut up.

CSI was utter crap tonight. I am starting to see that no one cares anymore on that show. The storylines are ridiculous and honestly a little racist I think. Grissom has become a walk on bit along with Sara. When did the bug guy all of a sudden become an expert at computer facial reconstructions? Sara used to do this and after her we had a secondary recurring character responsible for all sound and pictures. Sara is marginalized and I guess no one wanted to fork out a few bucks for Archie and Grissom has to have something to do right?
Warrick gets four lines, at least two involve his slowly dissolving marriage, a marriage no one cares about. In fact there isn't any storylines anymore..the characters are cutouts..anyone could be doing their work.
Would anyone care if the actors were switched out? Would we really even notice after an episode? I wouldn't , in fact I would be more interested if the old crew was fazed out for some new faces with lives and relationships. If you are too scared to create relationships with this bunch let's get new ones . I don't think the writers are anywhere near good enough to write a good backstory for these characters anyway, it would demand creativity.


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