Friday, April 07, 2006

mis under standings

I sometimes believe people misunderstand on purpose. I have noticed that some people are so desperate to get their own views across they will happily contort anything that is said so they can dive in announcing their own personal view. The people I hate, truly hate are the ones who set you up, like a twerp at work regularly does..she says " well if that is your view give an example of how you would implement it" and then because some of us actually think she is being sincere we answer the question . She then pounces, loudly and rudely stating what her opinion is and how terribly wrong you were for acting the way you did. She always makes sure she has a good audience for this performance so she can be viewed as the "wise and enlightened one".
She never misses a chance to remind everyone that she is a good and loving christian with God on her side and with that how can she ever be wrong?

I think she is an asshole and I let her know it. Ofcourse this wonderful example of christian kindness can't believe she is being challenged and slinks off looking for another victim.

Why do some people refuse to allow others to have an opinion? Why are they so threatened? Is their faith so weak? Or is their faith another cover? A way to manipulate others into following their lead? I think it is manipulation, a way to impose on others.
More importantly I am sick of it. I am tired of trying to speak about things I have experienced only to be shut down because some old burnouts feel threatened that anyone would have the gall to offer a different view.

In any area of nursing you have dinosaurs. Staff that have been around since the beginning, resisting every change. They repeat over and over "that isn't the way we do it here" refusing to hear about anything new.
They complain about every new practice, refusing to implement new guidelines until they are forced upon them.
They refuse to accept certain assignments, always saying give it to one of the new girls I have done my time doing that. As if by virtue of being a dinosaur they no longer have any obligations to learn.
Change is growth, it makes your brain work, gives a sense of mastery and confidence and holds off burnout and boredom. Dinosaurs enjoy their grumpy burnout, they pass it on like a virus infecting whole units. New staff quits and older staff transfers out and the dinos are all that is left. Anyone new coming in is immediately infected, filled with disinterest and discontent.
If new staff survives their harassment from burned out preceptors they mimic the same behavior as a survival mechanism. They resist change harder, with more anger than the senior staff knowing that if they don't they will suffer the consequences.
The consequences are a further drop in morale and more sick calls.
Sick calls are increasing as morale drops. No one wants to be in the environment. Being stuck for hours with these people literally makes other people physically ill.
I wish there was some way to force the dinosaurs out. I want a mechanism that measures disinterest and resistance to change so we could counsel them to move to another area before they sour the place for the rest of us.
I think nursing requires passion and a forceful personality. To be an advocate for another human being you can't be a pushover. Advocates shouldn't be people who couldn't care less and are only there to do the basics of the job and pick up their check. To be honest Most nurses now fill that description and it makes me sad and angry and exhausted.

I know it's only a matter of time before I am completely infected and no longer care. I struggle from one extreme to the other but it's only a matter of time before I give up, shut up and pick up my check. A little part of me is really excited about the day I stop giving a damn about the environment and my focus narrows on the basic patient needs and nothing more.

Really, is there anyone out there who gives a damn anyway?


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