Friday, May 25, 2007

American =moron

Scott Adams of Dilbert fame is a moron. This idiot cannot decide if global warming is"real".
He is struggling to decide if it is caused by people or wait for it..the fucking sun.
Now, over time I have come to the realization that this guy is full of shit and arrogance and never hides his frat boy humour but I thought he was marginally intelligent. It never occurred to me that Adams was functionally retarded.
Then I went aha! he is American. Only an American is still struggling with the idea that humans eat a lot of crap that requires massive processing plants that spew smog which actually affects the environment. I guess he never noticed that thick layer of smog over every city.
Only an American can think having millions of cars farting out pollution is harmless.

Let us all spell it out for Scott Adams in terms he can understand.
People, all people are parasites. Parasites are bad. Parasites live off someone else's body. Parasites eat all the good food and leave nothing for their host. Parasites expel their shit all over the host without care. Parasites are stupid. They never think "oh, what if I kill my host?".
Parasites don't care about the damage they do.
Humans are parasites, their host is the Earth.

The Earth has a trick up it's doesn't care if all the human parasites die either.

So, Scott how about doing a little research on something important? Research on how not to be an arrogant, misogynistic frat boy laughing at boobie jokes.
Once you learn how not to be an insufferable prick you can learn what you can do to stop taking a crap all over the only host available to you.
Recycle your garbage, change your light bulbs, turn the lights out when you leave a room. Buy a newer car. You don't have to go nuts and get a hybrid but buy a car with excellent gas mileage and maintain it. Buy local food..local means your food doesn't require trucking long distances.
Offer fair trade products.Buy groceries that don't have three layers of packaging.
Try to limit your flying, airplanes use massive amounts of carbon based fuel.
If you have some extra money get a solar panel set up. Plant a damn tree. Join a local group that does green space clean ups.
I know you wont do any of these things because you don't care about anyone but yourself but the rest of us? We are doing our part. We have a plan.

You want to see global warming ? Open your damn eyes and look around..oh right you're an American..your view stops at your own damn border.

Americans are the biggest polluters on the planet, the most vicious aggressors, the most corrupt and the most narcissistic. Of course none of you can admit to global warming. That would mean accepting responsibility . As George Bush has shown accepting responsibility for failure is never, ever done.

It is my greatest hope that America gets hurt the worst by global warming.
Karma is a bitch and if anyone had it coming it is America.

Keep your heads in the sand. When you are all bitching about flooding, hurricanes, tornado's and miserable heat remember that fence you are building to lock yourself in.
Remember that you have no friends any where and no one gives a rats ass.

Why am I so surprised? I should have known that anyone that popular and has that much money by drawing a cartoon would be an idiot.
The problem is people read what that idiot writes and feel all warm and fuzzy and reassured once again they aren't doing anything wrong at all.

I wish we could scrape the shit that is America off our shoes...that would solve our climate change problems instantly.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

America the boring

Jordin? really?
Middle America just cannot resist the bland, boring amateur torch singer. Or the karaoke king.
Hell, America went for that soul patrol guy..yes..I cannot for the life of me remember the name of someone crowned American Idol.
In fact I can only name two winners ,Fantasia and Kelly . I remember Fantasia because she could sing but was consumed by a crocodile sometimes known as Clive Davis. I saw them holding hands on a red carpet somewhere...obviously a deal with Satan.
Kelly I know because someone I worked with just loved her.

I can honestly say I liked Blake. I do have to reveal I only watched a few shows waiting for House to come on so I am not an expert or anything. I liked him because he obviously did not give a shit at all about winning. He seemed only to want a chance to further a career that was already building.
I like people that aren't interested in the opinions of other people.

I still can't understand a word Paula Abdul says.

Friday, May 18, 2007


I was over reading the Dilbert blog. I can't help myself. Yes, sometimes Scott comes across as the most misogynistic person alive but sometimes he says something that resonates.
Today he offered up one way to end the war in Iraq. Get people to stop enlisting.
It sounds like a good idea but it's actually dumb.
The never ending myth that poverty stricken teenagers are the only enlistees is false. Most who serve are well educated, experienced men and women. There are pilots, engineers, mechanics, nurses and doctors. Computer experts, intelligence officers, professional about the service people who manage aircraft carriers?
People choose the military because the boats and jets are there. The cool computer applications live there. Some of the best trauma surgeons in the world learned their craft in the military.
Enlisting is what some people have dreamed of since they were little.

Solving the Iraq mess is not something anyone is really all that interested in doing. Sure there is some whining and muttering but no one is all that upset are they?
They cheerfully re-elected Bush right?

I am not a fan of conspiracy theories but I read an interesting essay a little while back. I wish I could remember the author but my memory is shoddy. Anyway, this author thought that we have been completely hoodwinked over Iraq. He states that Bush has no intention of "winning" in Iraq. In fact it is the hope of this group that the war never ends. The theory is as long as Iraq is fighting itself and the Americans the extremists have a place to go and die. The theory is Iran, Syria and eventually Saudi will get drawn into the conflict and then they will all be fighting each other. This creates even more opportunity for the extremists to die. Really Iraq is a sacrifice to keep terrorism off American soil.
The other benefit of this battle in the middle east is it will force other countries to take up the fight freeing the Americans to leave.

America could, if it wanted to, end the fighting in Iraq. It would take the full force to do it but it could be done. But why stop it? Better to keep the fighting "over there".

I predict that in a years time America will have dropped the troop level and will be encouraging all parties to jump in and end the violence. In two years time the troop level will drop again and they will be called advisors. In three years time all but a handful will be out of Iraq.
The war wont change, the fatalities wont change but I can bet the message will change to "Iraq is standing up so we are standing down". Of course there will be no evidence to support any of that but the American public will lap it up. Americans are incredibly stupid and the majority will believe anything the media tells them to believe.
If Fox news tells them the war is over and America won they will celebrate despite every other news channel showing car bombs exploding all over Iraq.

In fact that is the only way to get out of Iraq. Declare victory and dare anyone to say they lost.
The medium is the message.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

television for masochists

It's season finale night!!!!!
Holy crap they all sucked horribly.

Let us start with the Mcassholes of Greys Anatomy. What kind of ultimate dick tells his bride to be moments away from walking down the aisle that she really doesn't want to get married. Really ass? Are you psychic or are you such an arrogant dick you think you have all the answers? How can a mature intelligent woman put up with this crap? The condescension is so thick in this episode it made me turn the channel.
And worse this jerk abandons his bride to be , leaving her to pay the bills on an apartment she will have no interest in living in. Nice.
Did it occur to any of the writers that this character would not have put on a wedding dress if she really didn't want to get married? Oh, right, the women of Greys Anatomy are all simpering idiots with no self esteem desperate for a man, any man.

I am so happy Meredith punted that jerk McWhiny passive aggressive. Mr "if you don't behave like I want you to I will find another bitch to torment and manipulate" and hey! It looks like it's going to be your sister. Oh, fuck me that's so original.
Please cancel this show.

On to CSI. Groan. I really can't.
Why does every season finale need a co-star in peril story line? I understand I am supposed to be upset that Sara is under a car and Grissom is full of angst but last week Grissom was having a wee sleepover with another woman. Am I suppose to believe Grissom wuvs Sara enough that he would tell his co-workers? No I don't believe it.
I don't like the mini killer story line, all my daddy molested me then stopped to molest my baby sister and I got so jealous I pushed her out of a tree so my foster father killed himself to save me cause he was so dumb it seems like a perfect plan to him and I wuv Grissom, he is mine but I hate him too so oh shut up. A cleaning lady driven mad by bleach seemed much more plausible.
And a cliffhanger?
Maybe if we thought that the actress had been fired or quit I could buy into the peril but she has a contract and right now Grissom and Sara are the only characters that actually have a storyline. For all we know the rest of them are vampires that return to their crypt when their shift ends. Except for the Catherine, she goes out gets drunk and gets raped, beat up, or finds ways to exonerate murderers for cash.
I enjoy the fact that someone who works the night shift somehow always arrives at the bar by closing time. Where I work night shift ends at 7 bars are open at 7am. Maybe Vegas bars are twenty four hour affairs but that doesn't solve the daylight issue. It's always night time when Catherine arrives at her bar.
Brass is the only character left to like.

Because I am an extreme masochist I watched the ER finale. Understand that I gave up watching Er a very long time ago so I am way behind on the story lines...oh wait no I am not. Nothing has changed since the first week of this season! Except the addition of some new prick that has all the answers and wants to save the world. Yes, he actually said "I want to save the world". The best surprise was the guy with no legs and his friend bitching out Neela. Blaming someone who wasn't even there because you were so drunk you were on your cellphone when you were crossing a busy street and got hit by a truck is completely rational. Everything else about this finale was banal and boring. Well I am assuming because honestly? I only watched a few minutes here and there. ER is just so damn bad.

So that was finale night and it was everything finales are not supposed to be.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

go team!

I watched the Toronto FC by accident today and am very glad I did. Normally I avoid MLS soccer like the plague. First because they call it soccer which makes me cringe and second they are generally awful. But Toronto played like a real team, as if they were playing a football match. I liked the fights and the goals and the fans.
Football lives and dies by it's fans and I can say the Toronto fans rocked it. They sang, they booed, they stomped and screamed. They brought banners and flags and confetti. I do think the promo seat covers made wonderful projectiles. I especially enjoyed the strategic Frisbee assaults.
I don't think they will be planning that promo again any time soon. Good thing they were soft.
So, Toronto finally scored some goals and won a game. I hope they can keep it up.

Now to reveal something deeply personal and tragic.

I have a pounding sinus headache.
Why is it when you cross the 40 border you start having bizarre afflictions?
I have never had a moments difficulty with my sinus cavities. They have been as far as I know very well behaved so I am stumped over their recent behaviour.
I don't snort anything, I keep a clean house so what the hell?
Here ends the revelation.

Titillating right?

Friday, May 11, 2007

dirty laundry

This post was inspired? provoked by a series of posts over at Violent Acres.
I like the authors writing style and more often than not I agree with her. I am a little in awe of her leap into intimate writing. I am not talking about discussing the bowel movements of your children or how much your spouse snores. I am talking about revealing exactly what makes you, well, you.
I understand the impulse to throw it all out there beauty and filth entwined but I am Canadian and I find it all a bit horrifying.
I can reveal a layer or two and most likely my opinions reveal more than I want anyone to know but I can't, hell, wont discuss the very bad shit.
Some bloggers will tell you everything. All of it, uncensored.

I hate to say this because I know there is great courage involved in laying your life out there for the likes of me to sniff in judgement but I like authors better when they don't show me the underbelly of their humour.
I am a selfish bitch. I want to be cheerfully entertained. The moment authors give me a peek into their pain I recoil.
I get that the author is a real person and being exposed to a strangers pain is painful for everyone. Not only is it painful it feels manipulative.
V is always the first to point out the manipulation of mommybloggers. Those strange women that parade their children on the Internet discussing incredibly intimate details never thinking once about how this will effect these children in the future.
V mentioned once about how Dooce's daughter is going to react when one of her classmates discovers the old Dooce archives describing her battle with constipation. I can only imagine how this kid is going to be absolutely tortured by her peers the second they figure out her mom is Dooce.
Mommybloggers search for fame and fortune the very same way stage mothers do it with child actors. They prostitute their children.
I wonder when other bloggers whip out their early childhood horror stories aren't they prostituting their pasts for readership?
Is all blogging narcissistic prostitution?
I am selling me to you but why?
And if I don't get the response I want or need do I start dredging up the past?

Do I tell my tale as dramatically as I can to elicit, manipulate a response?

I don't know. All I know is I wish mommybloggers would stop and think before they write out that "cute" story about their toddler peeing on the cat because they had the insight to realize nothing can be deleted from the Internet and no sixteen year old girl wants their entire high school to have full access to their personal lives. I guess I want all other bloggers to think the same way.
No one is as anonymous as they think. Anything written here can be used against you. By your family, your friends, your employers.

Deeply painful life events shouldn't be available for my judgement. Keep some parts of your life your own.
The Internet is not therapeutic. The Internet and it's readership can be hateful little shits.
If you have suffered a trauma no one will respond the way you want.
Your supporters will sympathize in a shallow facile way. Your detractors will call you a liar and make your pain worse.
Why would you set yourself up for this?
Masochism I suppose. At least you are only harming yourself and not your kid.

Friday, May 04, 2007

over achiever

Are you like me? Crazy over achiever, borderline OCD?
I am cruel as hell in the new game I am playing. I have to confirm and re-confirm that I am in pain. I have medications whose sole purpose is to keep me comfortable. Yet, I stop taking them and I wait. When it becomes literally unbearable I take them.
I understand clearly that I cannot bend at the waist or I will get a nasty shock and yet? I do it anyway.
I am not a masochist. I hate the pain but if I medicate myself so much I eliminate all pain I feel like a fraud. I walk around afraid someone will point to me and say "Look at her, walking around, there's nothing wrong with her".
This is the problem all nurses and doctors have. Pain has to be present before it can be eliminated but if you eliminate it then it doesn't exist so don't need treatment.
Hence, this little cruel game.
Don't get me wrong, I have a great team. Not one of them would be happy with me withholding my meds. But if I can't feel the pain how will I know if it's worse or hilariously what if I got better and didn't need the drugs but I was taking them anyway?.
The other problem is dealing with other people. Other people have there own ideas about pain.
I have friends that literally have no pain tolerance. They cut a finger and it's straight to the ER. It's a paper cut and they are asking for drugs. I have someone else who I swear to God could take an axe to the head and not even notice the blood dripping into their collar. A complete disregard for pain that is truly awesome to behold .
I fall somewhere in the middle.
Some days you could hit me with the axe and I would blithely wander off...the head injury would cause the wandering off part. Other days I would be crying if you raised the axe handle in my general vicinity and made threatening noises. Most days I ignore it for as long as I can.

Lately my issues have become noticeable.
I have always had a generally invisible injury. Unfortunately neurological failures of a sort have revealed my issues. I stomp walk. I have temporarily I hope lost some of my reflexes. I cannot move my feet in the generally accepted manner. I lift and ..well..stomp. Like your toddlers will do when they are just finding their feet.
I look, I am told, like a Giant crushing villagers under my feet. Stomp, stomp, stomp.
So I now have to explain why I am crushing imaginary villagers to other people.

I hate other people, the people that aren't us. I don't want to explain .
I just want to pretend the villagers really need a good stomping.

I think I may be sad when my nice surgeon fixes my stomping and I go back to being invisible.

edit: I wanted to thank you for the very nice comments aways back. I am sorry Blogger wont process the comment. Yes, I probably did domething wrong.

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