Friday, May 11, 2007

dirty laundry

This post was inspired? provoked by a series of posts over at Violent Acres.
I like the authors writing style and more often than not I agree with her. I am a little in awe of her leap into intimate writing. I am not talking about discussing the bowel movements of your children or how much your spouse snores. I am talking about revealing exactly what makes you, well, you.
I understand the impulse to throw it all out there beauty and filth entwined but I am Canadian and I find it all a bit horrifying.
I can reveal a layer or two and most likely my opinions reveal more than I want anyone to know but I can't, hell, wont discuss the very bad shit.
Some bloggers will tell you everything. All of it, uncensored.

I hate to say this because I know there is great courage involved in laying your life out there for the likes of me to sniff in judgement but I like authors better when they don't show me the underbelly of their humour.
I am a selfish bitch. I want to be cheerfully entertained. The moment authors give me a peek into their pain I recoil.
I get that the author is a real person and being exposed to a strangers pain is painful for everyone. Not only is it painful it feels manipulative.
V is always the first to point out the manipulation of mommybloggers. Those strange women that parade their children on the Internet discussing incredibly intimate details never thinking once about how this will effect these children in the future.
V mentioned once about how Dooce's daughter is going to react when one of her classmates discovers the old Dooce archives describing her battle with constipation. I can only imagine how this kid is going to be absolutely tortured by her peers the second they figure out her mom is Dooce.
Mommybloggers search for fame and fortune the very same way stage mothers do it with child actors. They prostitute their children.
I wonder when other bloggers whip out their early childhood horror stories aren't they prostituting their pasts for readership?
Is all blogging narcissistic prostitution?
I am selling me to you but why?
And if I don't get the response I want or need do I start dredging up the past?

Do I tell my tale as dramatically as I can to elicit, manipulate a response?

I don't know. All I know is I wish mommybloggers would stop and think before they write out that "cute" story about their toddler peeing on the cat because they had the insight to realize nothing can be deleted from the Internet and no sixteen year old girl wants their entire high school to have full access to their personal lives. I guess I want all other bloggers to think the same way.
No one is as anonymous as they think. Anything written here can be used against you. By your family, your friends, your employers.

Deeply painful life events shouldn't be available for my judgement. Keep some parts of your life your own.
The Internet is not therapeutic. The Internet and it's readership can be hateful little shits.
If you have suffered a trauma no one will respond the way you want.
Your supporters will sympathize in a shallow facile way. Your detractors will call you a liar and make your pain worse.
Why would you set yourself up for this?
Masochism I suppose. At least you are only harming yourself and not your kid.


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