Thursday, June 28, 2007

oh hell

Paris? Is anyone watching her? Really?
It's a serious question. Why?

I get that it's human nature to stop and stare at a car wreck but even the worst of us clicks awake and moves on.
Why are we all collectively staring at this forever?

I blame the loss of manners in the Western world.
Once upon a time our parents taught us to sit quietly, speak when spoken to, don't make a fuss, respect other people by not staring at them or breaking their stuff, stealing is wrong........all the basics that keep society running.
Somehow we , the collective we, have chucked the rules and embraced grossness.
It seems every time I get on an elevator someone has farted, public bathrooms are shrines to piss on the floor and a turd hanging over the bowl. No one washes their hands anymore.
Little old ladies will cheerfully call you a fucking bitch if you don't get the mall door open fast enough.
Please and thank you have become so rare I get a double take and an embarrassed smile.

I am no paragon of politeness but holy shit I know enough to stop fucking STARING at a car wreck.

Find your damn manners and start ignoring the fuck ups of other people. Surprise! they are human , now stop it already and move your damn car.

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Google can be a tool for good and evil. Once in awhile I feel a little evil. I wander around looking at old boyfriends. Yes, I am not alone. But what freaks me out is my old boyfriends appear to have been set in stone. They never moved. They are living exactly where I left them. Me, on the other hand I have moved, conservative guess ,about thirty times. In fact I have moved to other countries.
They have not.
Did I know they would remain stodgy, starchy, chained to their place? Maybe I guessed at it and ran.
My past boyfriends were all nice guys. I never got beat , insulted or humiliated. They loved me kindly, with care. That didn't stop me from kicking them to the curb.
I think I must have known they would never leave the life they were living.
Because I was raised by psychotic wolves all I knew was I had to escape. I tried escaping through these kind men but their escape was just another trap and any mammal can smell a trap, even if it's laced with honey and hugs.
I want to feel bad for these men that never left . The same phone number for twenty years? The same cramped one bedroom apartment? Familiarity can be a comforting thing but it can also cause stagnation. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they rejoice in the sameness of their days. Same friends, same bar, same bowling alley......oh god, how fucking boring does your life have to get?
I wish them well anyway. They were good, cheerful men.

Friday, June 08, 2007

David Beckham

I love David Beckham.
I have always loved Beckham. I am not an ungrateful petulant England fan that decided David needed to be dropped over the side after the World Cup. I watched England in the World Cup. The only player that actually tried was Beckham. Frank Lampard and Steven Gerard should have been dropped immediately. They played liked dogs, sick dogs.
Why Beckham was vilified will remain a mystery to me but I do know England fans always demand a live sacrifice when they lose. I guess this new manager thought dumping Beckham and making Terry captain would somehow rejuvenate the team.
Not so much eh?
I love, love, love the fact that Beckham had to be recalled for England to win. Beckham set up two goals. The players should thank Beckham every damn day for being so damned gracious and not telling them all to fuck off.
Beckham handled his firing with class and grace. He handled it like a good man. He handled his return with even more grace.
If it had been me? Oh dear, someone would have got at least one I told you so. I am not all that classy.
I hope Beckham and Real Madrid win La Liga. I want Beckham to leave Spain with another title. I want people to know that Beckham is the best dead ball player that has ever lived.
I also want England to fucking apologize.
It would be even better if Sir Alec would suck it up and admit letting Beckham go from Manchester was , in the history of football, the dumbest managerial moment ever.

Watching Beckham take a free kick is like watching a surgeon, a ballet dancer...grace and lethal precision.I wish he would have taken one right off Sir Alec's forehead on the way out.

I don't give a shit about David's money or his skinny wife or where he lives.
I watch Beckham because he is really, scary good at what he does. And that's football.

England will succeed because Beckham is there, give him back his captain's armband and let's get this show on the road.
Better yet fire that idiot manager.
How can a team filled with the "superstars" of the premiership play so badly?
Well, their manager couldn't lead a group sing along, forget about a football team. Beckham can lead, and he will. Apologies to John Terry, I like the guy well enough but he had his shot and it was a miserable failure.
I am happy David's back.
It's time everyone stopped blaming him for England's failures , take a good look at the rest of the team..Do we really need two midfielders that do exactly the same damn thing? Could that be a problem?
Ya think?

Congratulations to our wonderful Team Canada on their win!!!
I would be so happy to see Canada finally make the World Cup. Having a real Football club in Toronto is the first step but what we really need is some support from Canadians.
Wake up!!!! Support your team.
Hockey's over, you lost. Try footie, it's just like hockey but without the ice, the skates and all the damn padding. When someone challenges you in football there are no pads to protect you.
If you enjoy vicious hits that lead to fractured skulls soccer is your game.
C'mon.......the rest of the whole damn world is all about soccer..succumb to the peer pressure.

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