Thursday, March 02, 2006

look away

I am about to whine. Whine,complain,rant and rave.
I am tired and so damn itchy,itchy,itchy.
Worked crazy hard yesterday and today with great success. It's wonderful to see real progress with your patient when you work your ass off. It's even better when the patient and their family acknowledge that hard work with cookies.
But for a large part of the day I had to suffer fools. Even in 2006 we have doctors that are helpless at the bedside. They are incapable of reading the chart effectively, they don't know how to use the computer to get lab values..they just demand that you get the information they need.
If I am in a cheerful mood I will help them out but today I just wasn't into it. I had more than enough work of my own and I had no interest in doing the work of lazy doctors.
So I just pointed to the chart and the computer and ignored them. They whined and bitched,I ignored them and then an amazing thing happened..they did it themselves!
I couldn't just let it go either..I had to ooh and aahh over their independence.

Went to a meeting about improving the quality of death in the ICU.I laughed through the whole thing. Doctors forever trying to control everything and now death is expected to respect the new guidelines and standing orders..we have ORDERS for death. Can we get any more arrogant?
It just becomes so obvious how far removed doctors have become from their patients and in my opinion reality.
We looked at studies that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars that research how to communicate with families. We have literally lost the ability to have an honest conversation with other human beings. Now we need "bullet points"...sigh..
I blame lawyers and the victim culture and the culture of entitlement. Everyone is covering their own asses all the time.
I refuse to accept this. I will speak honestly with hope and with facts. I refuse to hide behind euphemisms and doublespeak. I refuse to make death a disease that must be refused at all costs for the living.
I refuse to bully my way into someone's death. Death is personal,intimate..it is for your family and for you..I have no place except to fulfill my role to prevent suffering. I will not obstruct a family and a patients right to experience their death in any way they choose...they get to have privacy and dignity and if they want to have their cats and dogs there? so be it.


Oh, enough of all that. CSI was blah tonight. I think they may have slid too far over to the impersonal no one has a private life thing again. It's a weird line. If you don't add a little it's hard to feel anything about their success, too much and it's soapy.
Missed American Idol and Survivor. Both are leaving me a little cold lately..too much fake reality and too much real reality...the disconnect is just too much sometimes to find the humour.



I am really looking forward to Jon Stewart doing the Oscars. I know that historically the Oscars are not the best place for comedians but I don't care.Jon Stewart is always funny and if those Hollywood idiots don't get the joke then they are the joke and Sean Penn can kiss my ass. I always thought Chris was the one with the real talent anyway and he will be truly missed.

Time to add another layer of anti itch cream and stagger into bed.

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