Thursday, February 23, 2006


Figure skaters on my television. I have a nasty secret..I laugh when they fall on their ass . I know it is wrong, very,very wrong okay? But it's their monstrous soul deadening seriousness that brings the laughter on. They seem like ill tempered robots smiling only when commanded and the smiles? oh they are chilling. So I laugh when they fall because it's shocking, that these machines that have no life except spinning on ice fail .
They try to warm us up to these skaters by creating heartbreaking back stories for them and we would eagerly buy into it if only these skaters made an effort.They obviously have read their script but follow it in a monotone..they know that all this "backstory" happened years ago and has nothing to do with their lives now but hey,anything to get on television and pick up that coveted Nike swoosh.
For a moment I thought I saw raw emotion in Sasha Cohens eyes, terror and defeat but then I realized it wasn't there..I thought I saw it because the commentator repeatedly mentioned how he saw those emotions and more importantly he talked about how inconsistent she has always been, how she always fails when it she "cannot handle the pressure".
I wondered if he had been following her around all day asking her if her plan was to choke tonight? cause she choked really bad there for a second but hey she is a good robot and got back on her feet and carried on because we all know good robots aren't allowed to cry, or quit.
I used to feel sorry for these little pageant girls on skates until I actually met one. They are willing partners in their own subversion. So I get to laugh when they fall on their ass because that is the agreement they made when they joined that ridiculous sport. Damn I called it a calling Miss America an athlete..ick

Well, I love the original CSI but I was baffled tonight. Last time I saw Grissom he was holding a sobbing Lady Heather in his arms after he found her whipping her daughters murderer ( while wearing a stylish whipping outfit too!) I like that CSI does its best to stay away from making its characters interact like bad soap opera stars but there is a line to this fetish. If you refuse to finish a story you encourage viewers to engage in bad acts like fan fiction. There is something horrific and hilarious in fan fiction. Some of the internets best porn is hidden in the fan fiction world. If you feel obliged to investigate that claim be careful. Reading about your favorite television characters engaging in sex acts that would shock most hardcore movie writers can be uncomfortable.You may never view the relationship between Grissom and Sara the same, it will forever be tainted with the thought of are they doing it? Even when the television show makes every effort to show that in fact they are not doing it and have never, ever done it you may still think to yourself..I think I am sure they are doing it and the writers just aren't telling us..heheh.
Thus begins the delusion of the fanfiction writer.

I remain itchy.I went to see another doctor and dumped off a few gallons of blood for the lab to play with and most likely lose. I have some cream that doesn't work but I pretend it does..I am flirting with the placebo effect except I think it works better if you believe in your placebo.

I was seriously considering returning to a different field of nursing until I remembered why I quit it last time. Trauma is a specialty that involves caring for the completely broken among us. That car wreck with those smashed teenagers? That is your patient population. It is incredibly , soul destroyingly depressing and I have a sneaking suspicion I am trying some self sabotage just entertaining the thought of going back. The learning curve is huge and it is incredibly challenging and sometimes you win incredible victories but is the cost worth it ?
I had a patient who coded so regularly it became mythic and he lived and returned to visit and thank us. I couldn't believe this vibrant, funny, hell intact teenager was the same person whose chest I pounded on so often I began to believe we were willing him to live out of our own sheer stubbornness. I don't know if that stubbornness still lives inside me and you need that to survive that service.

I think I will just stick where I am for a little while longer.My patients at least made the choice to be in my ICU..well the majority anyway, I have had a few that can't speak a word of english and seemed more than a little surprised to be there..gotta love a family that lies to their mother because they didn't want to worry waking up in an ICU isn't worrying at all right?

That is a pet peeve of mine. I imagine it can sound racist but I don't think it is really. I think it's about respect.
If you move to a foreign country the very least you can do is learn some very basic words of that countries language. If I move to a nonenglish speaking country I have to expect that I will need some basic words to maintain my safety.I think out of respect you need to make an effort. I don't think every immigrant needs to speak english fluently on arrival. I think they need to know enough to ask for help,say they are in pain,feel like being sick, need a washroom, are hungry. That is about it. Those are the words I would be practicing if I came to your nonenglish speaking country. My grammar will suck and my pronunciation will be terrifying but you will know when I need a hospital, a policeman or a bathroom.
How about when you choose my country as your new adoptive home you do the same okay?

And if you are the child of an immigrant that has been in Canada for thirty years and they can't speak one word of english be ashamed of yourself.I know we Canadians made it way too easy to get away with not bothering to show any respect but enough is enough. I am sick of seeing Canadian citizens who have been here my entire lifetime and don't know the word for bathroom. If that is your parent then stick around the hospital and do the translating, you brought it on yourselves. You could have taught your parents one word a week for ten years but no one bothered and know they are defenseless in a hospital unable to communicate with the people that hold their life in their hands.
Why should public institutions provide services in fourteen languages when this country has two official languages? We didn't make our official languages a secret either.
I just don't see any other country in the world bending over like this. They have enough self respect to say learn our language if you want our services.
Why can't we have that kind of self esteem?
Why don't we feel like this country of ours deserves some genuine effort to be a part of?


Post a Comment

<< Home

  • Google News
  • Edit-Me
  • Edit-Me
  • copyright harleynalice 2006