Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The controversy over ads

I don't get it. Well I could understand if it was never ending popups and flashing banners screaming free naked twins!! But text ads that don't do anything unless ,you know. you click on them? Relax.
What I find sadder is when someone actually believes these ads are going to set them free from employment. Like everyone who comes and reads will madly click away out of love and make you bags and bags of money.
I can honestly say I rarely click. Every once in awhile serendipity will strike and I will see an ad for something I want or need and I will go ahead and click. I think it's the same with all of us.
I actually like the little google search ad thing. I wish everyone had one. It's so benign.."hey, oh hi..need to look for something? I can help..if you want me to..no pressure..it's not like I am doing anything else..sigh.."..too bad to get the one you end up with the other weird one but it's on the side kinda hidden..not bothering me.

Dear American Idol
I would have put those assholes right back on the plane to wherever they came from. Why did you pussy out Simon? Because the producers went oooh they are controversial didn't they? and they gutted you. Now I know you are full of shit Simon, you have less power to choose than Paula don't you?
The ridiculous I am a victim of torture and disrespect and kidnapping!! right? right? oh right ..I auditioned and then accepted an invitation that included free airfare , food and a hotel room...all in the hopes of winning millions of dollars.
Those two ignorant, arrogant whining hypocrites should have been shoved off the stage, I would have forced them to find their own way home. I remember seeing some of the children after their auditions sobbing and you threw it away like a brat .
My spirit is broken MY ASS.

Dear House writers
What the hell is wrong with you? A doctor who is in the midst of treating a patient stops to take a drug they know with all their heart is crap.. shoots it up no less and then to treat the symptoms of the crap drug drops acid and overdoses on anti depressants...that is the story line right? RIGHT?
And miraculously because he is superman he doesn't drop dead...
Is this a medical drama or science fiction? You have no idea what you are doing and you obviously have no intention in hiring someone who does so instead you are googling migraine and looking for the most bizarre treatments ever tried...it's not funny, it's scary.
Migraine may seem like bullshit to you but try having one or two and discovering there is NO treatment..a little acid and some anti depressants sounds pretty damn good when the alternative is puking in a soundproofed, darkened room for hours.
Can't wait to hear about the first one who tries it on CNN.
I want to have a sense of humour about this show, it is my first favorite in a long,long time and you are ruining it, ruining this character and you suck.

Dear Anderson Cooper
Amazingly I still like you doing the news but I it's getting less and less every time I see you on Oprah. Stay away from Oprah. Oprah will love you as long as you meet the "Oprah Ideal"..you fuck up she will eat you alive on national TV with a panel of experts..don't worry too much about the experts though, no one has ever heard of them. I think they are just people who paid off a producer so they can hawk their books.

Dr Phil
You don't get a dear because you are an asshole. If you and the wife are still having sex I will ..hell I will gag and then laugh for an hour because having sex with that is about the worst punishment I could thing of.
For a supposed insightful guy didn't you ever wonder why your oldest son is engaged to an oh how does one say this? hmm..girl who takes naked pictures while performing sex acts on her sisters for money and had an ad offering her time as a companion for money...and lets talk about the wife who at one time appeared to be human and now looks so brittle and fake one wonders if she is going to be headline grabber herself one day and not in a good way... and your youngest wants to be a rock star....
and you have the balls to get up every morning and tell other people how to save their families..and you pocket cash for every tragedy..hell you cannot stoop too low..you had your sister in law on to talk about how she felt to be almost murdered and permanently disfigured...
here is a tip..she was pissed and terrified and I don't have a degree in psychology.
Stay off my television at night. Stop feeding us bullshit that Paula Abdul can't find love but you can do it for her. You were so professionally incompetent you missed her actual problem staring you in the face, not surprising since it looks like your wife is almost as heavily medicated.
I got all of this from the neverending commercials , I didn't need to see the show which is a good thing because that would mean I had been lobotomized.

Which takes me to another of my pet bitches..The commercial/trailer. I hate them for television shows. Every time they end up revealing just enough of the plot that makes watching the actual show pointless. I learned everything I know about Dr Phil from the ads. Worse I learned everything I needed to know about the last episode of Greys Anatomy from the ad.
How dumb do these people think we are? We know the writers aren't going to blow up the four main characters so the tension and drama are destroyed...and we feel silly for even buying into the premise a little.
Stop showing dumb trailers!
Movie guys..yes you..if your comedy is so bad you are forced to put every funny moment into a thirty second promo burn the film. Burn it. I don't care if it took you six months...it sucks and you should have enough self preservation to want to save your own career...don't burn it and let the critics and the public stop your career dead. Your choice. We all make bad choices, you don't have to compound them by forcing us to suffer beside you .

In breaking news, I'm sick again. I now have to go to the doctor and have a battery of tests that I am sure will reveal that I am sick. I will get my fifth antibiotic prescription of the year and then obsess that one day I will get something I wont be able to fight off because all these prescriptions have made all my bugs super bugs..resistant to all but the most caustic drugs.
I suck.


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